I’ll admit it: I’m fat.

No, it’s not a pretty description. No, I’m not saying that to get sympathy, hate, or everyone else’s opinions about how I look or how I should feel about myself.

I’m fat, and I don’t like it.

I have been trying to lose weight off and on for over a year now, not liking how my body has been changing little by little in the last three years. Unfortunately, I have not lost weight, but gained it. This really struck home with me recently when I went to a doctor’s appointment and saw my weight in front of my very eyes. (I did apologize to the physician for swearing, but I couldn’t help the “F***!” that slipped out.)

On top of that, going through old photos I have realized how out-of-shape I have become. Even in comparison to my old body shape (which wasn’t athletic to begin with), a fact that some of my summer clothes from last year seem to be seconding.

So, I’m making it public. I’m making this part of my online presence and part of this strange blog where I am continually writing about things I am learning about myself.

I am fat. And I want to do something about it.

Now, I had been planning on working out anyway to train for an event coming up in a couple years. My roommate, Moose, is planning on walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in Spain: a roughly 500 mile hike through the Pyrenees, depending on where you start. I’m not going to walk the entire length with her (I cannot afford to take a month off of work), but I do want to go the last stretch with her, from Leon to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia. This means I have to be able to walk 20 miles a day every day without blinking an eye.

So, with the fresh image of my weight flashing at me from the scale at the physician’s office, I am now focusing my training with a tangible goal: by the time I hike the last stretch of the Camino with Moose, I will have lost 70 pounds.

That’s right. I’m going to lose 70 pounds in two years. So please forgive me if, every once in a while, I weigh in to give you an update. Gotta hold myself accountable somehow, you know.