Dear Dawn,

Today was interesting. Today was the first day that I have been unemployed in a while, and I know that with your recent experiences you’ll understand the strange open-ness that I’m feeling now. It’s as if anything can happen, but nothing is happening yet. Rather like the calm before the storm except not as dooming.

It’s strange, having the alarm go off in the morning and knowing that I don’t *have* to get out of bed at 6 if I don’t want to. I don’t have to leave the apartment in the morning if I don’t want to. I don’t have to go to work if I don’t want to. . . . Except, of course, I do.

I miss working, and I always hate the brief periods of time where I do not work. It makes me feel lazy and pointless. It’s taking me quite some effort to not only accept that I’m not working most hours of the day at the moment, but to also enjoy the time off. Imagine that: the person who is always interested in doing something is afraid of taking time off. I guess I’m a living cliche that way.

Thankfully, I have job applications that need to filled out, some part-time work-at-home projects that I am getting paid for that I can get done, and a cat who does not let me stay in bed too long because her food bowl is empty¬†again, dammit. I’m staying busy, I’m staying active, and I’m making a point to do something fun each day. Who knows? Maybe I will actually enjoy this, eventually.

All I can say is that I better find work soon before I get over my fear and get used to this free time I’m rocking. O.o